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The Artful Dodger

Unapologetic Bitches
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The Artful Dodger last won the day on August 30 2018

The Artful Dodger had the most liked content!

About The Artful Dodger

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    Who's That Girl
  • Birthday August 6

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  1. The Artful Dodger

    I love the fact Madonna performed American Life. This song fits the current zeitgeist perfectly! We should appreciate the message Madonna is trying to convey instead of focusing on her dancing skills.
  2. The Artful Dodger

  3. The Artful Dodger

  4. The Artful Dodger

    Todd Terje edits for hot summer nights...
  5. The Artful Dodger

    Finally this fantastic song has been released as a single!
  6. The Artful Dodger

    01. Medellín [9.5/10] Damn, Maluma is so hot, he makes me horny. Yes, I’ll take a trip with him. To my bed that is. He is a top, right? Right? “Can you please stop it?” my boyfriend asks. Bitch, you’re just jealous. 02. Dark Ballet [8/10] Okay, time for some Moët & Chandon Rosé Impérial. I vaguely remember reading somewhere this song is interpolating a composition about nuts by a Russian composer? I start googling for ‘nuts Russian composer’ and am being directed to Wikipedia where I read this Tchaikovsky guy was gay. Cool. And I love big nuts, so that’s a plus. “The Nutcracker actually is a very famous two-act ballet” my boyfriend says, “did you know the score is noted for its use of the celesta?” Why does he always have to be such a Debbie Downer? 03. God Control [9/10] Girl, your love ain’t a revolver no more? Good, that song sucked anyway. Now I need my dancing shoes and dance like there’s no tomorrow. In love with the production and the message of the song. “So you really like this Maluma dude?” my boyfriend asks. Oh, shut up and dance with me. 04. Future [7/10] Fuck the Moët & Chandon Rosé Impérial, I need some weed. 05. Batuka [6/10] I need to take a slash and call my mum. “What’s that noise in the background?” she asks. Well mum, it’s a new Madonna song. What? Yes mum, I know you love The Power of Good-Bye, but that song is over 20 years old, so get with the programme! 06. Killers Who Are Partying [9/10] “What the fuck is she raving on about?” my boyfriend asks. I don’t know, so let’s play it again. And again. And again. “Your mum will love this!” he says. I tell him to shut up and to pass me the joint. Shall I play the song again? “Yes, please!” 07. Crave [8/10] Oh my gosh, this song is so sweet. I tell my boyfriend that I love him. “What?” Honey, stop playing Candy Crush and kiss me. “Are you cooking tonight?” he asks. Babe, if you’re not careful I’ll put on Candy Shop and have it on repeat all night long. “I love you too!” he says. Oh babe, I know you do. Let’s order pizza. 08. Crazy [7.5/10] “This pizza tastes really good!” my boyfriend says. Well, everything tastes better when you’re high. I tell my boyfriend I want an accordion for my birthday. “Are you fucking serious? Why not a book?” he asks me, choking on his pizza. I tell him I have enough of those and that I want a fucking accordion. If Madonna has one, then I want one too. “You’re fucking loco!” he says. Damn right I am. And I will get my accordion. 09. Come Alive [10/10] “Wow, this song sounds amazing!” my boyfriend says. Of course it sounds amazing, it’s Madonna. Now can I get an accordion for my birthday? “Try saying accordion with a dick in your mouth!” my boyfriend says. I guess there’s no harm in trying. But then the phone rings. It’s my mum, saying she watched Madonna on the Graham Norton show. “Is she still sick?” Mum, what do you mean? “The eye patch, dear, the eye patch! She also wore one during Eurovi…” Mum, I really have to go. Just in time for the heavenly outro. 10. Extreme Occident [5/10] “Life is a circle? Did Oprah write this?” my boyfriend asks. No, she didn’t. “Well, if you ask me life isn’t a circle at all. It’s a rather linear affair with a beginning and an end.” Right, cheers, but no one asked you, so there you go. “You know that there are many philosophers who…” Fine, have it your way, here comes the next track. 11. Faz Gostoso [8/10] Now where were we? Oh yeah, we were gonna get it on. This track sure does the trick, it’s got me feeling hot, hot, hot. Now where is the Rosé Impérial? I need a drink before I get down on my knees. “You look good drinking from the bottle!” my boyfriend says. So I start to give head to the bottle. If Madonna can do it, I can do it too. The way my boyfriend looks at me just makes me wild. “Gimme more baby!” he says. Ele faz tão gostoso! Let’s take a trip to the bedroom… 12. Bitch I’m Loca [7/10] Now this is what I’m talking about. Cómo se mueve, cómo me baila y me entretiene! “Where do you want me to put this?” my boyfriend asks. Put it inside, Maluma! “Maluma? What the fuck!” Oh shit, now we’re gonna have that conversation again. “Are you still thinking about him? What does he have what I don’t have?” Well, let’s not get into specifics, okay? Otherwise we’ll be arguing all night and we still have a couple of more tracks to go. But you know I love you, papi, I’m just a bit loco. 13. I Don’t Search I Find [10/10] Luckily for me everything is forgiven the moment this song starts to play. “This is like Vogue 2.0, but with a little Erotica vibe!” my boyfriend yells. “It makes me want to take you to some dark basement in a dirty club and…” And fuck? “No! To strike a pose of course!” Okay, the strings and finger snaps do remind me of Vogue a bit, but the spoken part really reminds me of Rescue Me. I whisper in his ear: Have the courage to love me for me. “But I do love you for you!” he says. He kisses me gently on the cheek and looks into my eyes. “Can I have the rest of your pizza?” he asks. Finally enough love. 14. Looking For Mercy [6/10] “Did Madonna lose her daughter or something?” my boyfriend asks. What? “Mercy is one of her daughters, right?” Yes. But the song is about the noun mercy, not the name. “Okay. But Rocco still lives with his father, right?” Yes, Rocco still lives with his father. “David Fincher, right? He should direct the video for I Don’t Search I Find!” No, not David Fincher. Guy Ritchie. “But isn’t her manager also called Guy?” Yes, her manager’s name is also Guy. “And he is David’s father?” Guy Ritchie is David’s father, not Guy the manager. “Oh. But I still wish David Fincher would direct a video for Madonna”. And I wish you would stop eating pizza in bed. 15. I Rise [7/10] Look at all these pizza crumbs. Madonna would never sleep in a bed full of pizza crumbs. She is very much above such trite things. And if she does eat pizza in bed, she’ll probably have someone to clean the sheets. “You wanna watch a movie?” my boyfriend asks. Sure. Which one? “Since we’re having a Madonna evening, how about Gone Girl which was directed by Madonna’s ex?” Gone Girl was directed by David Fincher, not by Guy Ritchie. “And that’s why David Fincher should direct Madonna’s new vi…” Good night, babe, I’m going to sleep. And dream of holding on to the little bit of magic in it…
  7. The Artful Dodger

    Chucky is back...
  8. The Artful Dodger

    It's okay my friend!
  9. The Artful Dodger

  10. The Artful Dodger

    I created the same topic 2 hours ago... https://madonna-infinity.net/forums/topic/20549-what-is-your-favourite-song-on-madame-x/
  11. Now that Madame X has been released it's time to choose your favourite song...
  12. The Artful Dodger

    The Plague Albert Camus The evil in the world comes almost always from ignorance, and goodwill can cause as much damage as ill-will if it is not enlightened. People are more often good than bad, though in fact that is not the question. But they are more or less ignorant and this is what one calls vice or virtue, the most appalling vice being the ignorance that thinks it knows everything and which consequently authorizes itself to kill. The murderer's soul is blind, and there is no true goodness or fine love without the greatest possible degree of clear-sightedness.
  13. The Artful Dodger

    I'll wait until all the episodes of season 2 have aired, then I'll binge watch it. Season 1 was fantastic. It's one of the most original shows I have ever seen.
  14. Wow, this was wonderful to read. Thank you for posting this article!
  15. The Artful Dodger

    This song is almost 20 years old, but I still love it so very much...
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