R.E.S.C.U.E_ME

I'm sitting here having an aneurysm wondering if she's got the grillz in again... Like I can't tell.. I imagine seeing a flash emit from her mouth and I want to die. Otherwise she looks great and really natural. Natural cheeks should be encouraged!!

Bitch I'm Madonna: there's no excuse for this. Birthday Song S.E.X Autotune Baby Best Night Holy Water Hey You Candy Shop: “my sugar is raw!” Gross Gimme All Your Luvin' Incredible I'm So Stupid: Horrible Lyrics Nobody's Perfect: See above Me Against the Music American Life (album version) "I went into a bar, looking for sympathy, a little company." Girl, no you didn't. Hollywood: "Trip the station" isn't an actual expression in English. Runners up: Human Nature: Whiny garbage. Take a Day: Unreleased, but likely the worst thing she's ever recorded. Champagne Rose: Would rank higher but not really a Madonna song. Bodyshop and Superstar are also awful, but they don't totally offend me. Secret Garden: My heretical choice because I know it's a fan favorite. It's a boring dirge. Mother and Father: Heretical choice #2. Her voice is terrible here. The "oooooh mudda...ohhh fadda" bit is nails on chalkboard.

I've always appreciated Pat Leonard's input on ROL. Lyrically, he and Madonna came up with some real gems. When she worked again with Orbit on Runaway Lover and Amazing, the magic wasn't really there. I've never felt Orbit and Mirwais brought out the best in Madonna's songwriting. That said, the demos are bit schizophrenic. It's a miracle that ROL turned out like it did given what she went in with. Orbit really pulled a hat-trick by making these disparate songs into a cohesive album! I can't wait to see what fans do with some of the alternate takes! The Babyface songs are out of left-field. I can't quite wrap my mind around them since they're 20+ years old and sound it. If I were Madonna, I'd add them to a 25th Anniversary Edition of Bedtime Stories as an iTunes exclusive. She won't do this, but it's a good idea.

Yes. I have my own playlist without those tracks, and I threw in most of the good to ok demos like Alone with You, Two Steps Behind Me, Tragic Girl etc. Rebel Heart Avicii demo is actually my favorite track by far.

I like the following, from best to worst: 1. Rebel Heart. 2. Wash All Over Me. 3. Messiah. 4. Ghosttown. 5. Iconic. 6. Joan Of Arc. 7. Hold Tight. 8. Devil Pray. 9. Inside Out. 10. Unapologetic Bitch. 11. Living For Love. 12. Beautiful Scars. 13. Graffiti Heart. 14. Body Shop. 15. Illuminati. 16. Borrowed Time. 17. HeartBreakCity. 18. Addicted. Horrible songs that I pretend don't exist: 19. Bitch I'm Madonna. 20. Veni Vidi Vici. 21. Holy Water. 22. S.E.X 23. Best Night. 24. Autotune Baby.

Bad management and bad advice. In 2012, Gaga and Rihanna are killing it with hit after hit and sucking up all the air in the room. Time for an incredible Madonna comeback... and she releases 4th runner up in a Mickey sound-alike contest. What? GMAYL is bad in every way a pop song can be bad. It's poorly written, auto-tuned to an ear piercing, shrill vocal, and pretty hookless. I say all this and I actually like MDNA. I listen to it regularly! Keeping in mind that nothing here would have done well in the US, I'd have released the following: 1. Girl Gone Wild: It's generic to a fault, but it's pretty damn good. 2. I'm Addicted: Not my favorite, but would've been a dance club smash. 3. I Don't Give a Fuck: Kind of like the Human Nature of this album. Nicki was peaking and would've bought this actually ok track some attention. 4. Some Girls: Willam Orbit would've had time to complete this song and his final, soundcloud version was pretty good. 5. Falling Free: See above. A finished Orbit version wouldn't have been a hit, but classy way to bring the MDNA era to an end. She could've added a cameo by Adele. Rebel Heart: I hate Living for Love. Hate it. Not because it's terrible, but because it's clearly an unfinished demo that no one could figure out. It's terribly, terribly sung and there's no hook. I don't know how much the leak played into this unfortunate decision. My choice for singles: 1. Bitch I'm Madonna: This is a garbage song, but dammit, it's the most attention grabbing number and it would've been a decent bitch I'm back moment. 2. Rebel Heart: The Avicii demo is so, so good. It's a pure pop song with an actual hook and Madonna sings in her range! It's her first song in ages that isn't auto-tuned into oblivion. 3. Ghosttown: Meh.. This song should've been better. I don't know what's wrong with it. The video is quite horrible. The grillz make it look like she has Victorian era rotten teeth.

I think we can kind of divide up the tours into pre-DWT and post-DWT. You can't really compare TGS to what followed. Once the big screens took over, it becomes an apples and oranges scenario. I'd rank her post 2000 tours as follows: Confessions: The Swarovksi crystal ball, LAV on the mechanical bull, LTT on the crucifix, the gorgeous sakura blossom backdrop to Paradise NFM, the reinvention of Erotica (You Thrill Me). SO many highlights Drowned World: Going dark was REALLY risky, but it paid off. I thought this tour was stunningly cohesive even though the set list wasn't the best. Her performance of Frozen was one for the ages. It looked unbelievable live. The video transfer didn't do it justice. MDNA: Ok, I'm ranking this above RIT because it was actually a lot of fun even when the MDNA album was a bit of a misfire. She managed to maintain an energy level throughout, take some chances that should NOT have worked (the vintage cheerleader outfits, the awkward version of LAV), and made it work. Vogue was a delight in person and totally ruined in the heinous video release. Regardless, I had a great time during this show. She even performed a complete version of Everybody on my stop. Re-invention: Usually a fan favorite, but honestly, I feel it dragged after the stunning opening. Vogue and the segue into NKM could be her best live performances ever. I didn't think much of the album version of NKM, but live? Incredible! As for the rest? How do you make Express Yourself boring? Deeper and Deeper as a dirge? The rock Material Girl and Borderline were ear-splittingly awful. It came back to life with Deeper and Deeper and her best sung LAP to date, but the last bit in the tank and kilt were lackluster compared to the gilt LaCroix corset. Rebel Heart: Oh Dear... She looked incredible, but Iconic as the opening didn't light the audience on fire. The highlights were the acoustic performances of True Blue, Rebel Heart, and, until she dropped it, Who's That Girl. I also thought the stair bit with LDLHA was really inspired. The glittering Music costume is among my favorites of her tour costumes, but having to sit through the execrable Candy Shop AGAIN, and it was time to go to the bathroom. Also, she was in a foul mood during my stop. Her banter seemed weirdly aggressive, and was borderline incoherent. She spoke in a strange baby doll voice, and seemed like she couldn't wait to get off stage, something I'd never experienced in the 20 times I've seen her live. This was probably due to the Rocco drama which was unknown at that point. Sticky and Sweet: I just wanted it to end. The multiple (!) wigs with bangs were so ghastly I'd hoped she'd burned them, but NO!! She dragged one out for MDNA skin. She'd also recently done...something... to her cheeks before my show and so up close her face looked painful. It's no wonder the video release had no close-up shots.

I think Madonna is going through a period where she doesn't want to listen to anyone or accept any sort of guidance. She barely appears with Guy anymore and she literally swatted Liz away from her on the Grammy's red carpet. She has been lunging from one PR disaster to another. The gross Drake kiss, the Brits fall, the bizarre behavior during the last dates of the Rebel Heart tour, Rocco's running away, the disturbing instagram, the trash-bag outfit at the VMA's and her widely mocked speech about herself/Aretha, the obsession with fillers, the frightening butt injections...etc.. I've been a fan for over 30 years and it's gotten to the point where I'm afraid when she makes public appearances these days.

I’ll Remember Is forgotten but it’s a spectacular song. Weirdly, I only noticed in the last couple of years that the lyric is, “I learned to let go of the the illusion that we can possess.” That’s a great lyric right there. For the rest, I’ll dig deep: Can’t Stop isn’t that bad. Liquid Love Fighting Spirit Animal Broken