Casting for Madonna's Greatest Hits - MUST READ

[muscleguy35 1,835]

This was posted on Madonnatribe by a fan who imagined all the songs as people. It's really funny I think :

 

"Picture it:

New York:

2014:

Casting for Madonna's Greatest hits.

 

Songs wait patiently in the holding room.

Vogue, Hung Up and Music (the mean girls) sneer over at the likes of Bad Girl & Hanky Panky, who have been chain smoking, sneakily sipping gin from a hip flask and trading shag stories for at least an hour now.

"She'll be lucky dear" say's Vogue..."Have you seen what she's wearing?" say's Hung Up. "what did you ask for in wardrobe...two pieces of liquiroice and a cobweb?...you look like Cher in The Turn Back Time video" say's Music. They laugh hysterically.

 

The old girls, Holiday, Material Girl and Crazy For You shared a cab and arrive together to a rapturous applause from the other songs. American Pie, Hollywood and Love Profusion give up their seats as a mark of respect.. their reward is sitting at the heels of the greats listening to them reminisce about the good old days, telling the young uns about their outings on The Virgin Tour way back in the day. "I hope I get toured soon" says Love Profusion.."I'll put in a good word" says Holiday who had been Ill since the the end Re-Invention tour..but thankfully she was well enough to make a brief appearance on the second leg of Sticky & Sweet.

 

Music, her understudy, has filled in for her on quite a few occasions now and keeps giving Holiday sideways glances to see if she's well enough to perform. They became close once. Holiday took Music under her wing and Music looked up to Holiday as a mentor. They stood side by side on both the Drowned Word & Re-invention tour. It all turned sour when Holiday lodged a formal complaint to Madge after Music got to close the show on the Drowned World Tour. Holiday rightfully re-took her place as the closer on Re-Invention. On the last night of the Re-Invention tour there was an incident with a broken set of pearls on the stairs at the back of the stage. Miss Holiday stacked it and has never fully recovered. Crazy For You, who had come out of retirement for Re-Invention, had come off stage just before Music and was watching her old pal Holiday bring the house down from the wings. Crazy had been on stage just before Music and swears she saw Music plant them broken pearls on the stairs...it's all very Show Girls but nothing was proved.

 

Holiday gives Music a sideways stare in return. " I wouldn't mind, but she doesn't even use her own arrangements anymore" mutters Material Girl.

 

Out in the hallway True Blue is pacing up and down softly humming " The Line (I really need this job)" from A Chorus Line..whilst Causing A Commotion gently joins in "God, I hope I get it. I hope I get it. How many people does she need?"

 

"Does anyone know if it's a 2 CD or just a single" says I'll Remember

"I'd be up for I-tunes Bonus download if there's one goin" says The Look of Love

" I wouldn't get your hopes up love, I've heard they're not takin any soundtrack songs this time round" says Cherish

"I'll get my poncho" says Argentina " you comin" she says to Into The Groove..."I think i'll stay, I usually fly under the radar on that one and I was on the European re-press Of Like A Virgin so technically...."

"Whateber.....You coming Playground?....Adios mon Chachos...dont cry for me" say's Argentina.... and is gone

 

American Life is trying to cause shit in the corner whilst her sidekick Bedtime Story is stoned.....again!!!

"It's alright for you" she quips to Like A Prayer and Papa Don't Preach

"You came out the other end of all the controversy and everything was fine..By the time I came round she lost her nerve and everything went tit's up from then on. Hollywood, Love Profusion and Nothing Fails still blame me. They haven't spoken to me since 2003"

 

"Come on Bedtime Story you're with me arent ya? I mean we had albums named after us and everything..right?...Erotica?...anyone? Maybe we could put the idea of a lead singles album or a controversy collection into her head.... we could call iiiiiiiit Scandal ..yeah...Scandal.... that'd be cool... what d'ya say Justify...you in?

 

"Were in" shout Hanky & Bad Girl who are half cut by now.

 

" I was kinda thinkin just us lead singles really" says American Life...

"Err excuse me..Die Another Day says hi" laughs Like A Virgin..

"Where is Die Another Day anyways?" says Prayer

"She's doin a James Bond compilation this week so she cant make it" says Rain

" oh screw you all I'm outta here...come on Bedtime..I'll give you a lift"

"but" says Bedtime Story

"a-ah button it...how many times do I have to tell you...you're not supposed to be using words anymore ...just move" says American Life marching and shaking her Mini Coupe keys on the way out so everybody knows. Bedtime follows reluctantly...."bye guys maybe see you like...errm ..I dunno ...like next time I suppose..Peace yall"

 

Don't Tell Me, Express Yourself are limbering up in the corner as Open Your Heart leads a dance warm up.....

Just then the doors burst open and in walk Miles Away and Girl Gone Wild looking like a stepford wife and Ke$has afterbirth respectively.

"What Is she doin ere" screams Give It 2 Me

Miles Away makes like she doesn't hear and with ideas of grandure heads towards the mean girls who are happy to put up with her sycophantic ravings.

"It's bad enough she took my ****in place on Celebration but this takes the piss...at least your mate GMAYL had the decency not to even show up" Give It 2 Me barks at Girl Gone Wild who has just been sick in her own handbag.

She has the worst hangover and cant cope with any form of confrontation today. She wouldn't have come but she's one step away from becoming a crack whore and needs tha cash. She tries to make a b-line for the safe haven of Bad Girl and Hanky but Like A Prayer cuts her off at the pass...

 

"This is gonna kick off" says Take A Bow

The room goes deathly silent...as Prayer pratically invokes the spirit of God

Frozen starts to play her opening strings for dramatic effect but is promptly told to "shut the **** up" by Gambler who likes a good show down.

 

Like a Prayer -"I need a word with you"

Girls Gone Wild -" erm...errr" as she wipes sick from the corner of her mouth.

Like a Prayer - "you got something for me"

Girls Gone Wild - " I..erm...I..."

Like a Prayer "something you wanna give back"

 

"Been here before" mutters Vogue to Music..

Deeper and Deeper starts awkwardly pouffing her fro whilst Hung Up rather sheepishly adjusts her leg warmers.

 

Like A Prayer - "well.....If you think you can go into my album, take what you want and pass it off as your own, you are out of your crazy ass valley girl mind...did you think I wouldn't notice cause its at the end of the album and I'm at the beginning...don't you realize I'm all seeing...Divine...I'm everywhere...get it!!!!.....Not only have I had to put up with the likes or Gaga riffling through my knicker draws this year...but you....you have the front to turn up here today after blatantly stealing from your own and you have the nerve to use it right up front ?"

 

Girls Gone Wild - "erm ...it wasn't me....She made me do it" points at Celebration

 

"she said with her bass and your outro we'd be number one...you hear me NUMBER ONE!!!..isn't that what we all want?"

 

Like A Prayer turns to face Celebration " I might have known it...So impersonating Into The Groove wasn't enough for you eh....I bet you're the one behind all the leaks aren't you..You make me sick..what happened to the sisterhood...You two are pissing over the legacy us girls fought hard to build up......22 years I've been in the business...22. Do I get a 20th anniversary digital remaster?..No. Do I get a blu ray re-release of the Blond Ambition tour?..No...do I get to be covered by Darren Hayes?...we'll see"

 

Celebration - "Listen honey...I do what I've gotta do..I've seen the future and it doesn't smell of patchouli oil. So you can sit on your throne polishing your crown and stay "oldies but goldies" or you can join the new breed, just don't take your Catholic guilt out on me and her"

 

Girl Gone Wild - "We were out with California Girls, We Found Love and Tik Tok last night and we had a real good time. They're OK you know...it's not that bad out there...I think you'll like it..Would you like to try?"

 

The head of Warner & Interscope enters the room.

"OK girls. Time to shine. Ray Of Light, La Isla Bonita and Music you are through to the next round. Dress You Up, Who's That Girl, Human Nature and Deeper & Deeper it's a no this time but we'll see you again in 2022 for the 40th anniversary edition.. The rest of you..This way please...All together now...L.U.V. MADONNA"

 

Rescue Me - "Tits and Teeth Girls"

 

Like A Prayer - "This isn't over"

Celebration - "No...it's only just begun"

[RebelHeARTPOP 415]

This is beautiful. I saw each eras respective look on Madge standing around , just a room full of madonna's

[Unruhe 1,431]

Loved it!! Very creative! Do you have the name of who posted it?

[Bobo 1,218]

Pure genius!!!! Mado herself should read it.

[angelamanda623 327]

This is great and so freaking creative!  I'm with craftypatrick, M should read this.