Reflection on the AIDS years

[Danton 618]

I don't know why but I'm obsessed right now with the AIDS years and the late 80s / early 90s era. I just read kevin bentley's book " Wild animals i have known"  have you read it ?

I was a child at that time almost a teenager and I remember the awareness, the messages from preventions, we even gave a talk in college ... Madonna lost friends to AIDS, Martin Bourgoyne in 1987, Christopher Flynn and Keith Haring in 1990, she sang "In this life" about Martin and we don't really know who the song "Spanish eyes" is for. She was even the victim of rumors that she was sick with AIDS in the early 90s.

I imagine the fear of those who found out about this disease at an age when sex life began ... AIDS has always terrorized and impacted my own sexuality. Sex and danger are linked. "Gay cancer" as it was called naively evoked a kind of divine punishment linked to homosexuality that haunted me ... and inhibited me. The condom helped to cope but also reminded us that the danger was there. I wonder if Madonna could not have done more at that time. Like making an album around that rather than just a song (In this life). I hope that she will give pride of place to her lost friendships in her autobiographical film. I'm curious to see what a friend she was to Martin. And I find retrospectively paradoxical that she staged her sexuality in "SEX" at a time when the subject was rather AIDS. What memories do you have from those AIDS years? Do any of you suffer from it? Does your (sex) life still bear the stigma today ?

Listening to the album "like a prayer", and "Erotica" seeing the "Blond Ambition tour" inevitably plunges me back into this time both happy and sad

I remember Madonna saying in an interview in the early 90s that the greatest tragedy of the 20th century was AIDS ... maybe it's the second ... the worst for me is probably the holocaust. Well ...I'm going to go swallow a xanax lol

[Semtex1 845]

Yes i just finished watching the tv drama "Its a Sin" which is incredibly powerful and moving.. all about a group of friends and  the impact of Aids in the 80's. I absolutely recommend it.

I was a teen in the 80's so although aware i wasn't really affected until 89....like a prayer and then of course Blond Ambition. I read the insert from the album and laughed as she told everyone you never really get to know guy until you ask him to wear a condom...and the "hey you don't be silly put a rubber on your willy" and  she did educate me as a 16-17 year old in a way that leaflets couldn't 

[RUADJAI 14,940]

I was really too young to understand it fully. I heard everything Madonna said ... and I understood what she talking about to a degree, even my grade school friends would repeat info or make jokes about stuff they no doubt heard from members of their family. Obviously 'gay" was something EVERYONE in my age group knew about, and it wasn't a good thing to be. but the total picture of the epidemic I never got until I looked back. 

My grandmother put up her first born son for adoption when she was young. Later, when I was 10 or so, either he found her or vice versa. I wasn't yet aware of my own gayness, but when I met him and his wife and two kids I knew instantly he was gay. The first gay person I met in real life.  In less than 3 years he died of AIDS. He made up some story of being raped by some guy one night... but we all knew the truth, he was just gay. How this didn't affect me negatively in my maturing, I don't know, But I think children are preprogrammed to be resilient for survival purposes. Something that fades with time. I never really thought about it in my sexual encounters. 

I do think that the association of HIV/AIDS with gay people did permeate my idea of how I perceived promiscuous people, specifically gay men. Anyone seeming like they were easy or like they got around was an immediate turn off for me. But I myself would go out and get lit and take guys home somewhat regularly. Pure hypocrite.  I can even remember being in the middle of having sex and being disgusted by the person who I was having sex with, who was allowing me to be inside them. I think this idea persisted up until kinda recently when the younger generation started posting their nudes in public all over the place.    Or every single guy having an onlyfans account. Coming to the realization that sex isn't dirty, it's natural. EVERYONE DOES IT. Who you do it with or how often or with how many people isn't to make someone looked down upon. Don't get me wrong, there are risky behaviors we still need to pay attention to and be aware of. But if you removed all STD's from this world, the idea of promiscuity being bad or dirty would fade a bit. There would still be some notion of trying to have a "pure"or virginal partner by men, but that's a whole other issue. 

 

[Erlend 165]

I remember the amFAR-speech she gave back in december 1991. She compared aids to Hitler and the Holocaust. Madonna had so much integrity back then. 

[Danton 618]

On 2/12/2021 at 7:04 PM, Semtex1 said:

Yes i just finished watching the tv drama "Its a Sin" which is incredibly powerful and moving.. all about a group of friends and  the impact of Aids in the 80's. I absolutely recommend it.

I was a teen in the 80's so although aware i wasn't really affected until 89....like a prayer and then of course Blond Ambition. I read the insert from the album and laughed as she told everyone you never really get to know guy until you ask him to wear a condom...and the "hey you don't be silly put a rubber on your willy" and  she did educate me as a 16-17 year old in a way that leaflets couldn't 

That's it I saw "it's a sin" and indeed it is poignant and well representative of the situation around AIDS in the 80s. What shocks me is to see how gay people today are homophobic with effeminate gays. While in the series there was no this kind of sectarianism when the mores were supposed to be less liberated. Another sad observation, the lack of interest in society and heterosexuals for homosexuals hit hard by the epidemic. A 100% fatal disease ... The feeling of fatality, you are gay you are a sinner and if you die it is normal and well done for you. It's revolting and it despairs me of humanity ... Today with the coronavirus which kills 0.3% of patients (and 90% of people at the end of their life) we have had 5 or 6 vaccines in one year .... While 40 years after AIDS, there is still no vaccine. Sad