How Oh Father saved My Life!

[Future Lover 1,004]

My story from the last seven years is rocky and very troubled. It started really before seven years when my Dad got his first job since my birth. After work, him and friends would go to the bar. One of his female coworkers slipped things in his drinks and had sex with him. Eventually...it didn't take drugging and he entered a sober affair. Mom found out and there was constant fighting. I was only 5 at the time and I would listen to my parents fight all night. Dad eventually left for three days but came back for my sake. It was quiet for a year. Then one day, Dad passed out on the couch. They rushed him to the ER and he died twice but they shocked his heart back. The hospital ended making a critical mistake causing him to lose his right leg. He was in the hospital and rehabilitation center for a total of 18 months. I saw him 4 times over the course of that time. Little did I know, the father I really grew up to know died in the hospital and was replaced by the man who lives here now. He came home and naturally there was a lot of pain medications for everything. He became addicted to the meds. He is a drug addict now...addicted to those meds. He has repeatedly chosen the meds over us. He and Mom argue more often and violent then ever now. Dad has hit Mom. Dad has come at Mom with a knife. I have suffered strong emotional abuse from him. And it has led me to intense depression. I have became more and more depressed. I self harmed a few times and...I contemplated suicide so much last year. Tried it last year.  I am terrified of losing people. I honestly feel like a burden to people. 

 

The song Oh Father just showed me that someone understood missing love from a parent. That there was someone out there who felt this way to. The song feels like it spoke to me, like it was saying "You are going to be okay. It'll be okay." It stopped me from suicide. I love this song.

 

I know that this is pretty stupid and a dumb reason to love a song, but it is so special to me.

 

Love you all!!

[MeantToBeIconic 998]

There's no dumb reason to like a song, friend. I can tell this was probably difficult for you to write, but yes, you WILL be ok. Always keep in mind the impact you WILL have on people you HAVEN'T EVEN MET YET. You never know what lies ahead, so why not stick around and see what's around the bend?In addition, you sharing your story just shows how powerful one individual can be. All it took was one song and you were able to climb up from your low point. Your story was very thought provoking, and I for one am glad you shared it. :-)

[stefo 6,276]

My story from the last seven years is rocky and very troubled. It started really before seven years when my Dad got his first job since my birth. After work, him and friends would go to the bar. One of his female coworkers slipped things in his drinks and had sex with him. Eventually...it didn't take drugging and he entered a sober affair. Mom found out and there was constant fighting. I was only 5 at the time and I would listen to my parents fight all night. Dad eventually left for three days but came back for my sake. It was quiet for a year. Then one day, Dad passed out on the couch. They rushed him to the ER and he died twice but they shocked his heart back. The hospital ended making a critical mistake causing him to lose his right leg. He was in the hospital and rehabilitation center for a total of 18 months. I saw him 4 times over the course of that time. Little did I know, the father I really grew up to know died in the hospital and was replaced by the man who lives here now. He came home and naturally there was a lot of pain medications for everything. He became addicted to the meds. He is a drug addict now...addicted to those meds. He has repeatedly chosen the meds over us. He and Mom argue more often and violent then ever now. Dad has hit Mom. Dad has come at Mom with a knife. I have suffered strong emotional abuse from him. And it has led me to intense depression. I have became more and more depressed. I self harmed a few times and...I contemplated suicide so much last year. Tried it last year.  I am terrified of losing people. I honestly feel like a burden to people. 

 

The song Oh Father just showed me that someone understood missing love from a parent. That there was someone out there who felt this way to. The song feels like it spoke to me, like it was saying "You are going to be okay. It'll be okay." It stopped me from suicide. I love this song.

 

I know that this is pretty stupid and a dumb reason to love a song, but it is so special to me.

 

Love you all!!

 

It helped me too... it's not dumb, trust me, it's not. It happens with M as it happens with books, movies and theatre. It's art, it gives us a way to contact and express our deepest resources, feelings and consciousness. Never let your sorrow win your future, the best love - for what I've learnt - is the one that comes from the inside of yourself, if you really look for and take care of that you'll be safe, my friend.

 

I don't want to get into many details but my dad was violent with me and mom since I was 8 (it went on till my 14) and I lived the second part of my childhood in a continous state of fear. Every time he was around. He could be sweet, the best dad in the world, and five minutes later get angry for every shallow whim or stupid joke  a kid can try to make his parents laugh or get their attention, beacuse, yes, I used to play the court jester sometimes. I was a very insicure child, quite probably because I had been adopted and a only child. 

 

Anyway, I never cried, if not after his beating, and of course never talked to anyone, never let my pain out by myself (and unfortunately it's still like that, I can't whatever the problem is). So, the song went out when I was just 11yo and I just started to study English at school (yes, in Italy we still do it that late, shame!). I sat down at my desk in the evenings and, with a dictionary, as a good kid, I started to translate lyrics one song a day. When Oh Father turn arrived, I really could not believe what she was singing, with such a heartfelt voice and beautiful melody and orchestration... of course I suddenly started to think it must have happened to her too, she knows, she overcame it. The fact is I still remeber that evening and that crying.

 

Something like that happened again, in a different way, when I was 13 and 15 and Truth or Dare and Erotica came out: thay laugh at me, they mock me for my being gay, but it's not wrong and some guys have pretty good lives without hiding. Unfortunately I was not able to get pregnant in 1998, but I'm sure that would have worked too!

[momosfantasy 946]

Be strong. The Erotica album helped me when I was 14 to come to terms with being gay, and other M songs/other artists/books/movies have helped at different stages of life to get through whatever I may have been dealing with at the time. Music is especially primal, and can speak to.a person in so many different ways. Hold on to life. It's not always perfect, and sometimes it's pretty sucky, but keep fighting. It really does get better. Thanks for sharing your story.

[lovetriedtowelcomeme 21]

My story from the last seven years is rocky and very troubled. It started really before seven years when my Dad got his first job since my birth. After work, him and friends would go to the bar. One of his female coworkers slipped things in his drinks and had sex with him. Eventually...it didn't take drugging and he entered a sober affair. Mom found out and there was constant fighting. I was only 5 at the time and I would listen to my parents fight all night. Dad eventually left for three days but came back for my sake. It was quiet for a year. Then one day, Dad passed out on the couch. They rushed him to the ER and he died twice but they shocked his heart back. The hospital ended making a critical mistake causing him to lose his right leg. He was in the hospital and rehabilitation center for a total of 18 months. I saw him 4 times over the course of that time. Little did I know, the father I really grew up to know died in the hospital and was replaced by the man who lives here now. He came home and naturally there was a lot of pain medications for everything. He became addicted to the meds. He is a drug addict now...addicted to those meds. He has repeatedly chosen the meds over us. He and Mom argue more often and violent then ever now. Dad has hit Mom. Dad has come at Mom with a knife. I have suffered strong emotional abuse from him. And it has led me to intense depression. I have became more and more depressed. I self harmed a few times and...I contemplated suicide so much last year. Tried it last year.  I am terrified of losing people. I honestly feel like a burden to people. 

 

The song Oh Father just showed me that someone understood missing love from a parent. That there was someone out there who felt this way to. The song feels like it spoke to me, like it was saying "You are going to be okay. It'll be okay." It stopped me from suicide. I love this song.

 

I know that this is pretty stupid and a dumb reason to love a song, but it is so special to me.

 

Love you all!!

Your story is very powerful. As momosfantasy said, sometimes life has its downsides. I have had many challenging experiences myself, but not on a scale so large as you, OhMadonna. My best advice to you is to speak to the right people. If you have depression, you should be seeing a therapist who can help you with your problems, and if there are just a few things getting you down, your friends will be there for you. And if your friends let you down, you can find your home here at MadonnaInfinity. One thing you may need to note, however, is to be careful about where you share your story. In general MadonnaInfinity seems like a great community, but websites such as YouTube (the actual worst) are full of trolls who want to make you feel worse. In other words, don't try to seek help other websites. Keep it here.

 

I am glad that you have found refuge in Madonna's music. When I feel down, my favourite thing to do is listen to the Queen of Pop. She has brightened my life, and it seems she has brightened your life. Keep on going, because you are loved.