Andymad

I want to hug and embrace you ALL rn 😢❤️

I want to hug and embrace you ALL rn 😢❤️

There is something about losing a mom that just aches non stop. It gets easier as time goes as you learn to accept that ache, but, sometimes I wake up in the night and the ache is there again full on and the first thing I'll naturally mouth is "Mommmm"!! But, I always take comfort that our journeys are not over and it's "love" we feel. WE WILL SEE OUR LOVED ONES AGAIN ONE DAY!! And it's going to be one hell of a reunion (and an ass chewing too that they left too soon).  

Very true. I feel you. I too lost my mother to cancer in 2007. I totally related to M and her mother’s death. And of course her music. In fact it was her and others catalogs that help me pull through the tough moments. Another one of M’s I would play often was Inside Of Me. And I can say she truly is, I feel her often. 🌹

Beautiful beautiful post!! Thank you for it. Like you, "Promise To Try" has been a huge staple emotionally in my Madonna list of faves too. It's one song I've played over and over through out my life after losing someone close. It's started in 1990 when I lost my brother way too young at 26 who use to tease me (in a fun and good way) on Madonna and being a fan. After that...I lost my grandmother (we were so close. She had mad respect for Madonna after taking her to see Evita) and then both parents in the last 8 years. With that said, I'm so very sorry for your loss and all the losses suffered and expressed in this thread so far. I'm so thankful Madonna made "Promise To Try" and the video for it. 

reading your post was not easy. I also lost my mother 5 years ago and, of course, Promise To Try talks to me so much more after this... Thank you for your text and sharing with us. you are not alone... and we know that it's hard when our mother is not here anymore to help us when we stumble and fall...

It's not easy. My mother died last October way too soon and it takes much much less than anything specific to make me cry at a moments notice. 
I always felt bad for Madonna after learning about her mother dying, but I realize now that I could in no way understand what she really felt. And even now, in my position, I actually still can't understand completely because I had so much more time with my mother than she did. Her loss must feel so much more like something missing, something she never had then something she had, cherished, took for granted at times, and then ultimately lost. 
 
Thanks for sharing

When I woke up today, I didn't plan on making this post. I was actually fine. September 9th. My mother's birthday. 
 
She passed away 5 years ago from breast cancer. The time between her diagnosis and dying was 5 months. She had no chance, it was too late and she made her peace with it, refusing chemo and choosing to be at home being administered morphine. 
 
She passed away the morning after my birthday, living just long enough to give me that day. Today, on her birthday, I was fine. But I couldn't stop thinking about Promise To Try. That scene in Truth or Dare where she lay on her mother's grave, talking to her and wondering what she looked like now. And I broke like a piece of glass...
 
And that's how the day kept going. Little by little, the song kept playing in my head..."will she see me cry when I stumble and fall"... And every day I do stumble and fall, but I keep getting up, even when at times I just feel like laying there. "Keep your head held high, ride like the wind, never look behind". And I try to keep going and never dwell on the past. Never feel nostalgic, keep moving forward, never stay one thing too long and never let anyone feel sorry for you. 
 
"Can't kiss her goodbye, but I promise to try". I tell myself I can let go, that I don't need to be comforted by tales of heaven and angels. That I'm ok with death being the end of it will help me find that closure. That I need to let her go. "But it feels like a lie".
 
And it kept playing in my head. Bringing me to tears each time today. Just one song. The power of Madonna's writing and vocal delivery, emoting so much. Intricate simplicity. Grief. A universal feeling we can all understand, but perhaps only mire so with this song if you've experienced losing your mother.
 
I don't need to listen to Madonna's songs everyday. I'm no longer a teenager in the early 90s. I've been there and done all of that. I grew up with her music in the 80s. But I feel I've lived through her music; I've sat on a plane fleeing an abusive situation with "You'll See" playing in mind, giving me the strength I needed. I've left home at an early age with "Oh Father" in my head saying "you can't hurt me now". I've gone place to place trying to find safety with "Drowned World" (travelled round the world, looking for a home). But today, Promise To Try hurt a little more than it usually did.
 
No, I don't need to listen to her music every day. I can go months without playing her songs as I get on with my life. I don't need to do any of those things because I can just think of her songs and I experience them because they've had a lifetime to bury themselves deep within me, waiting for the right moments to burst forward.
 

Found it in my RH Demo Folder.

This is the hidden content, please Sign In or Sign Up

I’d have to speak to my doctor if that would classify a relapse if I wanted to get fucked on this in order to grow lol
Show me the music baby

Damn Mr Ritchie 

Damn Mr Ritchie 

To be technical, and as a trained singer myself, it's phlegm-ish. She's actually blessed with that as a lot of singers get dry throat. She's just extra moist LOL. No but also it's the placement of her tongue when she inhales, the throat is a bit tight, with the back of the tongue nearing the hangy ball thing. It's normal, but also audible. Just the way she's trained herself to sing since the beginning of her singing career. It's not as present since her formal training during Evita, more-so during live performance. I don't know if then she was ever trained to protect her voice properly. Maybe she was but with so much going on as a pop star - the ear monitors, vocal cues... it seems that it would be easy to forget your training a bit. It happens.  

It's a never ending cycle for us. The hashtag soon will stay with us forever. This is the ultimate word in our mental decline. So many theories. Thoughts. We are inevitably all waiting for... #soon. Hesitating. Fuzzy dreams.... I need to lay down.

I'm honestly not mad about the side parted hair...

It's a never ending cycle for us. The hashtag soon will stay with us forever. This is the ultimate word in our mental decline. So many theories. Thoughts. We are inevitably all waiting for... #soon. Hesitating. Fuzzy dreams.... I need to lay down.

Artificial Intellisoongence. The clock with no hands is giving me reality LOL

I'm honestly not mad about the side parted hair...

To be technical, and as a trained singer myself, it's phlegm-ish. She's actually blessed with that as a lot of singers get dry throat. She's just extra moist LOL. No but also it's the placement of her tongue when she inhales, the throat is a bit tight, with the back of the tongue nearing the hangy ball thing. It's normal, but also audible. Just the way she's trained herself to sing since the beginning of her singing career. It's not as present since her formal training during Evita, more-so during live performance. I don't know if then she was ever trained to protect her voice properly. Maybe she was but with so much going on as a pop star - the ear monitors, vocal cues... it seems that it would be easy to forget your training a bit. It happens.  

Artificial Intellisoongence. The clock with no hands is giving me reality LOL

Artificial Intellisoongence. The clock with no hands is giving me reality LOL

It's a never ending cycle for us. The hashtag soon will stay with us forever. This is the ultimate word in our mental decline. So many theories. Thoughts. We are inevitably all waiting for... #soon. Hesitating. Fuzzy dreams.... I need to lay down.

#soon. (can't forget the hashtag)!

I have to say, feeling ostracized  in high school and finding the Madonna Fanzine... changed my life. Found my people. Going strong with my online M family 22 years later