Nahual

Oh God please no. Fallon is the fakest, most insufferable talk show host I've ever seen. He's so boring too. I actually feel bad for Madonna and everyone else who has to sit there and listen to Jimmy's feeble attempts at comedy.

I mean I'm sure she could just sit in a chair doing acoustic renditions of her biggest hits and the gays would still pay big money to see her shows. I certainly would, in any case.

I'm pleasantly surprised given that the VMAs nowadays pretty much snub any artist who doesn't have a current hit on the charts. Maybe this is a sign that things are changing.

I clearly hear the word "life" not "lie". The F sound is pretty easy to detect, at least to my ears. But the song is still a bop apart from the rap section.

How is Erotica in 2nd place? The cover is just a bluish outline of her eyes, nose and mouth. True Blue looks great, but I had to go with COADF even though that pose looks awkward.

*Looks at its critical reception and overall reputation among the fandom* No but seriously if you were to take the best tracks from both albums, ditch all the filler, and combine the good songs into a new album, you'd have a really strong pop album. Rebel Heart is the most bloated one of the two albums but also the easiest one to reduce imo, at least for me since there are few songs on it that I genuinely like.

When I saw those glowing lights in the audience I was like, "how could they have smartphones in 1990?" Then I realized that they're lighters.

I'm amazed it was a single at all tbh. It doesn't sound like something I'd expect to hear on the radio in the early 1990s. It's a fun novelty song though.

TIC obviously. I hate remix albums, so FEL was never gonna get my vote. And yes I realize that some songs on TIC were technically remixed too, but it's less noticeable on most of the songs and they're much closer to the originals anyway.

It's so obviously about her vagina. I mean the album is called Erotica after all. I try not to think about it though; I'm a gay man, so what am I supposed to do with a song about her lady parts?

Ew. I don't care how hot he might've been when he was younger, I don't understand why he's bragging about this like it's some major accomplishment or status symbol. He's just using famous women's names for clout.

I actually don't mind Shoo Bee Doo tbh. It's not my favorite LAV song by any means, but it's a harmless filler track. I really don't like LDLHA though. I hate cover songs as a general rule, and this one in particular annoys me because it's so overdramatic.

We're counting synths as "instruments" now? I had no idea she played guitar on Falling Free. Makes sense since it's the best song on the album.

What would even be the point of her attending, other than us getting a few snapshots of her to add to the collection of the thousands of others? But overall it's such a boring event and nothing noteworthy ever happens.

"I got Jew under my skin"? I never thought about it, but now I can't unhear it lol.

Dunno who the featured artist even is, but I'm so tired of the "rapper-of-the-day who abuses auto-tune shtick" that most songs have these days. The fact that Madonna jumped on the bandwagon doesn't surprise me, but in this case the remix might as well just be an entirely new song since the majority of it doesn't really connect to Frozen, especially the fire visuals in the video which are like the opposite of what Frozen is supposed to be about. On the bright side, the video made me crave some Pall Malls.

Oh, that Nelly. I thought y'all were talking about the iconic one, aka Mrs. Furtado. OT: Ugh he's so hot but so close-minded.

Would've been a cute US single tbh. Probably not Top 5 material, but definitely Top 10 with the hype surrounding her at the time.

I don't think her taking a few Instagram pics/videos in her bathroom and trending on stan!Twitter because of them makes her bathroom the most famous one in the country, but we're all free to believe what we want I suppose.

White Heat sweetie I'm so sorry.

How the hell does Tory even still have a career after what he did to Megan? Seriously what is it with rap/hip hop culture today where men can somehow abuse women but not get cancelled for it? Madonna is 100% correct in being angry about the new song since it clearly rips off ITG. Like it's not even up for debate. Sue him, Queen.

Deeper and Deeper, Skin, or Impressive Instant.

Her opening an Instagram account. Because of it she's been involved in several controversies and moments that have made me give her the side-eye, plus I think she's the type of artist who's generally more interesting when there's an aura of mystique around her life, which Instagram has kind of ruined.

I like that she responded to 50 Cent's annoying post, but I wish her reply had been more witty. I miss the days when Madonna would eviscerate people with poised, composed language instead of eye-watering red text with misspelled words.

Much better than some of her more recent interviews with eye patches and grillz. It helps that I loved the COADF era.