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25 of the Greatest Madonna-isms

By Alison Nastasi

 

What do you give to the woman who has it all for her birthday? Respect was the best answer we came up with, which is why we’re honoring Madonna’s 56th with some of her greatest quotes. The silver-tongued Queen of Pop kicked off the festivities on her Instagram (where she continues to remind us that it’s great not giving a shit) with a revealing photo from her early platinum blonde days. Always the provocateur, Madge’s most shocking moments often had little to do with what she was wearing (or not), but rather the things she said. Here are Madonna’s greatest Madonna-isms — utterances that only she could get away with.

 

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“When I’m hungry, I eat. When I’m thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it.â€

“People usually choose ‘truth’ when it’s their turn because you can tell a lie about yourself and no one will be the wiser, but when you are dared to do something, you have to actually do it. And doing something daring is a rather scary proposition for most people. Yet for some strange reason, it has become my raison d’être.â€

“I am not surprised by my success because it feels natural.â€

“I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art.â€

“I’m a gay man trapped in a woman’s body!â€

 

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“I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.â€

“I think that Kabbalah is very punk rock.â€

“I want to be like Gandhi, and Martin Luther King, and John Lennon… but I want to stay alive.â€

“A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t get what they want.â€

“Everybody loves you when they are about to cum.â€

 

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“I won’t be happy till I’m as famous as God.â€

“I’ll flirt with anyone from garbagemen to grandmothers.â€

“Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion.â€

“I’m anal retentive. I’m a workaholic. I have insomnia. And I’m a control freak. That’s why I’m not married. Who could stand me?â€

“If at first you don’t succeed, you’re obviously not me.â€

 

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“I have the same goal I’ve had ever since I was a girl. I want to rule the world.â€

“Sometimes you have to be a bitch to get things done.â€

“I don’t trust any man who hasn’t kissed another man.â€

“Crucifixes are sexy because there’s a naked man on them!â€

“I’m attracted to obstacles I need to overcome. I’m interested in facing challenges, things that are going to be harder rather than easier.â€

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“I just can’t stand waiting. I always want everything right away. Nothing came as fast as I wanted it.â€

“I do what I want. I’m the boss.â€

“The best guy in the world is one who doesn’t feel threatened by an independent woman.â€

“I have my work and my faith… If that’s boring to some people, I can’t tell you how much I don’t care.â€

“If I can’t be daring in my work or the way I live my life, then I don’t really see the point of being on this planet.â€

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  • 11 months later...
21 Madonna Lyrics to Live Your Life By
There must be a reason Madonna’s been able to maintain a flawless music career, releasing albums since 1983 (and still going). She’s able to teach us about life through her songs in ways that are often overlooked because of her antics. Really though, she’s more valuable than she’s often given credit for these days.
 
She perfected the art of being yourself.
“Express yourself, don’t repress yourself.†(“Human Natureâ€)
“I’m breaking all the rules I didn’t make.†(“Human Natureâ€)
 
She’s never afraid of taking a chance.
“I’m not afraid of what I’ll face, but I’m afraid to stay.†(“Jumpâ€)
 
She always challenges beauty standards.
“Should I lose some weight? Am I gonna be a star?†(“American Lifeâ€)
“Beauty’s where you find it, not just where you bump and grind it.†(“Vogueâ€)
 
She didn’t let her gender stop her from saying what she wanted.
“Would it sound better if I were a man?†(“Human Natureâ€)
 
She also mastered the kiss-off long before Beyoncé directed men “to the left, to the left.â€
“Does it make you feel good to see me cry? I think it does. That’s why it’s time to say bye bye.†(“Bye Bye Babyâ€)
“The next time you want p***y, just look in the mirror, baby.†(“Waitingâ€)
 
She understands that disappointment in love is not her fault.
“It was so easy in the beginning, when you didn’t feel like running from your feelings. What happened? What do I remind you of? Your past, your dreams, or some part of yourself that you just can’t love?†(“Waitingâ€)
 
She won’t let anyone else boss her around.
“Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.†(“Justify My Loveâ€)
 
She doesn’t let other women intimidate her.
“Here she comes, little Susie ho-maker, thinks she’ll get respect if she screws it.†(“Thief of Heartsâ€)
“She’s not me, she doesn’t have my name; she’ll never have what I have.†(“She’s Not Meâ€)
 
She speaks of social injustices and problems in loving and accepting ways.
“Brothers, sisters, why can’t we learn to accept that we’re different before it’s too late?†(“Why’s It So Hard?â€)
“He was like a father to me, nothing in the world he wouldn’t do; taught me to respect myself, said we’re all made of flesh and blood. Why should he be treated differently? Shouldn’t matter who you choose to love.†(“In This Lifeâ€)
 
She’s never willing to settle.
“Second best is never enough, you’ll do much better, baby, on your own.†(“Express Yourselfâ€)
 
She knows exactly what’s important when looking for a lover.
“‘Cause the boy with the cold hard cash is always Mister Right.†(“Material Girlâ€)
 
Even the Queen knows a thing or two about unrequited love.
“I don’t know what I mean to you. The only thing I know is I dream of you.†(“I’d Rather Be Your Loverâ€)
 
She always manages to see the silver lining.
“Who needs the sun when the rain’s so full of life?†(“Sanctuaryâ€)
 
She encourages people to love themselves (as much as she loves herself).
“Until I learned to love myself, I was never ever lovin’ anybody else.†(“Secretâ€)
 
She values her experiences and has no regrets about her past.
“I have no regrets, there’s nothing to forget. All the pain was worth it.†(“I Deserve Itâ€)
“You could take all this, take it away. I’d still have it all.†(“Nothing Failsâ€)
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