[Week 3 / Song 3 Begins - Voting Closes Feb 13th] Worst Possible Celebration Tour Concept & Setlist

[eXtremeOccident 2,509]

Congrats to @vadge who is officially the winner of picking the show opener. Round 2 begins today and ends 11:59 PM EST on February 6th!

Here we go...

Song 2:

Right before the second verse of Papa Don't Preach starts, in typical fashion, Madonna stops the song. The autotune cries from Autotune Baby start playing over a trap beat. She asks "Hold up, what if I didn't keep my baby? What would you think about that? Are there any REBEL HEARTS here tonight?". As a mixture of cheers and confused stares erupt, the sample continues as a white staircase dramatically enters center stage. The bass of Like a Virgin starts to play over the looped cries of Autotune Baby. "Are you ready to step with me? I said are you ready?". She proceeds to perform a new Kevin Atunes mix of Like a Virgin with samples of cries from Autotune Baby & the gasps from the Rescue Me Breathwork interlude, making for a very painful rendition of the song, as she dramatically poses on different steps with images of her hip replacement playing across screens, a proper homage to the Confessions performance and the pain her hip caused during Madame X. It is the first of many retrospective performances this evening. Every time she makes it up a step, she says to the musicians "wait a minute, wait a minute" pauses the song,  smiles, and awaits cheers from the crowd for making it up a step, similar to her break in Music from the Rebel Heart Tour. As the song nears its end, she sits on top of the steps, takes a sip of water, and goes "Ladies and Gentleman, thank you for coming to the Celebration Tour, the night will be long, and don't expect your favorite song". The beat of the next song begins.

[eXtremeOccident 2,509]

@Shoful @scion @musicinferno @Drownedboy @vadge @steady75 @Andreo @N3onNostalgic @star guardian@SecretGarden @sara94 @Jitterbug @Pootz333 @Nounours @konfideinmenow @NothingReallyMatters @Blue Jean @Would You Like To Try @Curtains

Awaiting your responses, in particular 

[N3onNostalgic 151]

All goes silent then an echo of the words "Jimmy Jimmy" erupts through the arena then a trap remix of Jimmy Jimmy begins to the confusion of everyone.

 

[Jitterbug 3,485]

I will try again!!

The beat of BIM starts, leading to the "who do you think you are (cause I'm a bad bitch)" part, then she screams "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE????", and then Nicki Minaj says: There's only one queen and that's M-Dolla, bitch!

Then the second song starts:

02 Back That Up to the Candy Shop / Who Do You Think You Are (Mashup)

Madonna is dressed as M-Dolla but with the hair as in the BTUTTB single cover, with 5 drag queens dressed up as the Spice Girls doing the original choreo.

[musicinferno 3,778]

After she cuts off half of PDP cause she can't ever fucking be bothered singing more than 90 seconds of the song, she gets the crowd ROARING with the opening instruments to Holiday. Gays are fainting, soccer moms throw their walkers down, straight husbands even take their shirts off exposing their grandpa bods, because this is it - this is the moment we've all been waiting for! One of her biggest song are about to be performed. She pulls out a chair, we think of old school Madonna a la Open Your Heart and she's about to pull out all the gimmicks. Suddenly the music stops and she sits down and chats with the crowd about abortion and ageism and how she's fought her entire life. She doesn't sing Holiday, it was just a segue after the 90 second opening song so she can take a break. She does however throw the fans a bone by singing "the show is over say goodbye" before the lights go out and a video interlude starts. 

[eXtremeOccident 2,509]

18 minutes ago, musicinferno said:

After she cuts off half of PDP cause she can't ever fucking be bothered singing more than 90 seconds of the song, she gets the crowd ROARING with the opening instruments to Holiday. Gays are fainting, soccer moms throw their walkers down, straight husbands even take their shirts off exposing their grandpa bods, because this is it - this is the moment we've all been waiting for! One of her biggest song are about to be performed. She pulls out a chair, we think of old school Madonna a la Open Your Heart and she's about to pull out all the gimmicks. Suddenly the music stops and she sits down and chats with the crowd about abortion and ageism and how she's fought her entire life. She doesn't sing Holiday, it was just a segue after the 90 second opening song so she can take a break. She does however throw the fans a bone by singing "the show is over say goodbye" before the lights go out and a video interlude starts. 

I screamed. An homage to the PDP strings during the Madame X Tour monologue  "stop it, orchestra, I'm trying to have an intimate moment with my audience!"

[Would You Like To Try 8,722]

2 hours ago, eXtremeOccident said:

@Shoful @scion @musicinferno @Drownedboy @vadge @steady75 @Andreo @N3onNostalgic @star guardian@SecretGarden @sara94 @Jitterbug @Pootz333 @Nounours @konfideinmenow @NothingReallyMatters @Blue Jean @Would You Like To Try @Curtains

Awaiting your responses, in particular 

She starts performing Erotica but instead of making the crowd pleased she starts rapping about disgusting things and the bass is at full and slowed down and low quality TikTok like audio.She then ends it to Back That Up To The Beat and confesses her hate to confessions as everyone is surprised.A SoundCloud rapper appears and does a mashup of Like A Virgin with his new song.The actors behind the stage start fake puking and the SoundCloud rapper grabs the puke and washes himself with it.The crowd is waiting for this torture to end but the doors are locked sadly.She then dresses like a clown and starts making fun of herself.She then makes a trap remix of Wash All Over Me and completely ignores the sad part of it

She then makes a mumble rap out of Open Your Heart.Shakira and Cupcakke appear as always and slay the song.

She then says "Express yourself don't repress yourself" The crowd is thinking this hell had ended and she is going to perform original version of human nature but tokischa appears...and completely changes the song

She then says "Next Reimagined Hit: Fever (Edit Two) But with saucy Santana and Stuart Price as Remixer.This somehow sounds good.The crowd is hypnotized for more like zombies.The backdrop of her next song is her twerking for 18 minutes 

[Would You Like To Try 8,722]

2 hours ago, eXtremeOccident said:

@Shoful @scion @musicinferno @Drownedboy @vadge @steady75 @Andreo @N3onNostalgic @star guardian@SecretGarden @sara94 @Jitterbug @Pootz333 @Nounours @konfideinmenow @NothingReallyMatters @Blue Jean @Would You Like To Try @Curtains

Awaiting your responses, in particular 

Link for the bad erotica version i described in my last comment

https://mega.nz/file/qZ5QlBSD#jEpnpI1xImYXSqYr0fL2mlpCHJQmvyITeWrwpvpCFhU

It doesn't have the rap though.Sorry if i went too far i just want to give her an example of what not to perform

[Would You Like To Try 8,722]

On 1/29/2023 at 11:50 AM, Andreo said:

Ngl this would make the homosexuals go extinct... 

They gonna decline her Abba sample and make hung up like the demo version

[NothingReallyMatters 638]

she then turns to the audience and asks them what song she should perform next. after a few minutes of screaming from the crowd, a mashup of Live to Tell and 4 Minutes starts.

[Shoful 8,743]

The lights go dark and suddenly we hear: “Where do you want me to put this? Uhhh you can put it inside” and on the screen a giant candy ball rolls and high speeds into an asshole and the screen shatters. And all we see is her standing on a giant lollipop where she acoustically screams “SEX WITH YOU IS INCREDIBLEEEE!”  Then she slides down the stick off the lollipop onto the stage and whispers “there’s a more important window” and goes inverted with her vag in the air as an orchestral Autotune Baby starts wailing. She humps her away up and down the stage, of course grinding against the lollipop for the entire duration of the song. And at the end she screams “LADIES have you ever had a best friend that wanted to do everything you wanted to do including fuck your boyfriend? Yea you know what I’m talking about”. In that moment a hydraulic lift at rapid speed lifts her up and down while she sings “see my booty get down like up get down up up get down see my booty get down like” and busts into a mashup of Oh Father & Some Girls. 

[SecretGarden 126]

M emerges to an empty stage with a sole spotlight, ukele in hand ready for a medley of her most world famous and popular acoustic songs - Imagine and if I had a hammer.

It develops into a trap remix ala send in the clowns - titled "imagine if I had a hammer" (with elements of ring my bell) 

Imagine if I had a hammer, it's easy if you tried. Imagine all the people living in peace. 

If I had a bell to ring, I'd ring it in the morning, I'd ring it in the evening all over this land. 

Lose your attitude (ring my bell)

Say you're sorry (ring my bell)

Got something for me (ring my bell)

Then you can (ring my bell)

 

Edited February 2, 2023 by SecretGarden (see edit history)

[BuschieFandango 680]

Madonna disappears already and the beats of Up Down Suite begin to rapturous applause with nostalgic photos flashing intermittently on the huge screens.

10 minutes later we realise we're getting the entire track and it's only the first of 52 video interludes...

Edited February 8, 2023 by BuschieFandango (see edit history)

[eXtremeOccident 2,509]

Sorry everyone, I'm on vacation right now! Didn't mean to take so long to update! Song 2 has been updated in the OP with Like a Virgin (w/ samples of Autotune Baby). Congrats to myself for winning this round 

Without further adieu...

...the round for Song 3 begins! Submissions and voting end at 11:59 PM EST on February 13th!

@Shoful @scion @musicinferno @Drownedboy @vadge @steady75 @Andreo @andifeel @N3onNostalgic@star guardian  @SecretGarden @sara94 @Jitterbug @Pootz333 @Nounours @konfideinmenow @NothingReallyMatters @Blue Jean @Would You Like To Try @Curtains

[Would You Like To Try 8,722]

34 minutes ago, eXtremeOccident said:

Sorry everyone, I'm on vacation right now! Didn't mean to take so long to update! Song 2 has been updated in the OP with Like a Virgin (w/ samples of Autotune Baby). Congrats to myself for winning this round 

Without further adieu...

...the round for Song 3 begins! Submissions and voting end at 11:59 PM EST on February 13th!

@Shoful @scion @musicinferno @Drownedboy @vadge @steady75 @Andreo @andifeel @N3onNostalgic@star guardian  @SecretGarden @sara94 @Jitterbug @Pootz333 @Nounours @konfideinmenow @NothingReallyMatters @Blue Jean @Would You Like To Try @Curtains

READY!

She presents in rapper clothes to the public.She says "I love expensive crap"!

and starts rapping to "Material Gwoorl" while moving her hands and twerking.The backdrop is her at a mall walking to Gucci.Saucy Santana appears in pink clothes and starts rapping and Madonna's wig is blown.It then transitions to Autotune Baby,and she loses breath while singing and the background is a baby crying.She then throws a plastic baby doll to the floor and says "Rock me,rock me now"

She then performs a mashup of Voices and Live To Tell at full bass

"Is my willing to live to tell annoying you or is my dog walking you?"

"Cause my living to tell isn't new"

[NothingReallyMatters 638]

She then starts singing some lines from Candy Shop while getting into her next outfit on stage. As she finishes changing, the lights turn off and when they come back on she's wearing a similar outfit she wore during the Live to Tell MV shoot, singing an Acoustic medley of Bitch, I'm Madonna and Girl Gone Wild 

[musicinferno 3,778]

"... Don't expect your fav song..." 

The beat of Jimmy Jimmy starts and only a handful recognize it. The background screens show pics and clips of Jimmy Fallon from his talk show and SNL skits. She tries to get the crowd going, insists everyone wanted to hear Jimmy Jimmy over every album track and how she thinks it's well-loved. The sing along at the end goes on longer than Hung Up from Confessions Tour. 8 minute extended mix. 

[Blue Jean 16,054]

How many times is autotune baby going to feature in this show?

[scion 3,132]

… now at the top of the staircase M is attached to a wire as she shouts, her voice now lower than Mr Barry White himself ‘Are you ready for a Spanish Lesson?! Estas lista para una clase de español?!?!?!?!’.

Absolutely no reaction from the audience as M debuts the song in a voice completely different to her shouting voice - it’s higher pitched than ever and the auto tune is stronger than ever. The audience is bewildered, and someone in the first tier keeps shouting ‘BRAAAZIIIIIIIL!!!!’ as M dives from the stairs and straight into a trapdoor and off for her next costume change. The song lasts in total approximately 45 seconds and nobody in the audience is any the wiser on how to speak Spanish.. Act two commences. 

[Andreo 5,501]

... Silence drops, and the next heart-warming medley starts: Bad Girl acapella (6 whole minutes of it) where she artistically avoids all the right notes. An uncredited fanmade funeral themed montage of Tr*mp and other misoginistic idiots plays: it's in that exact moment that Some Girls starts loud: her and her dancers attending the funeral, twerking and shitting on every grave. At the end, she pays homage to 50cent's dead career, with an orchestral, heartbreaking rendition of Candy Shop (with samples of She's Not Me), while the audience burst out in tears of emotion. As the fan fave packed Medley ends, she screams "DEATH TO THE PATRIARCHY", licking her middle finger while the graveyard like stage fucking explodes 

[scion 3,132]

The artistically avoids comment really tickled me 🤣

[dankpepe 1,068]

Don't know if this is still active but...

Then she says "It's time to turn up the heat...I said it's time to turn up the heat, motherfuckers". She straps on a guitar and the chords to Burning Up begin. She then plays the RH version of Burning Up on the guitar while encouraging the crowd to sing along. In the bridge she continues to yell phrases involving the words "motherfucker" to the audience. Older gays and menopausal women nod their heads in begrudging approval with hopes that maybe the next song will be something from Ray of Light or Confessions on a Dance Floor. Madonna plays the final chords to the song and gives the middle finger to this group of gays.

[Drownedboy 1,775]

Anything reminiscence of this last 4 years, Madame x counting, would be not so great in this tour...

[dankpepe 1,068]

We hear the whispers of "One, Two, Cha Cha Cha, One Two Two One, Cha Cha Cha". Madonna says "time to put on our dancing shoes" in a very winded tone. She mouths the phrase "One Two Cha Cha Cha" but is clearly out of breath. She then is handed an accordion from a backup dancer and continues to whisper in a loudly out of breath tone "One Two Two Cha Cha Cha". She puts on an eye patch and misses her cue but quickly gets back into things and begins dancing while fake playing an accordion to the song Medellin. Maluma appears on screens behind her giggling like a little school girl as Madonna tries to seduce him in the video.

 

Edited March 7, 2023 by dankpepe (see edit history)

[Neil 469]

Track 4 : Hung Up (Tokischa / MDNA Tour Version Mashup w/ element of Cosmic Climb and Messiah)

 

It's now approaching 1.15am. "Time Time Got The Time" from Cosmic Climb plays over and over again for 20 minutes as one of the dancers flails around on the C stage with a king-size bedding sheet and a fan in a spectacular homage to the Messiah interlude from the Rebel Heart Tour. Fans who have spent $1200 for Pit Packages are encouraged by their "Onsite VIP Host" to pop back to the VIP Lounge for a drink and some carrots during this segment. Eventually as the 21st minute nears, "Time Time Got The Time" segues into "Time Goes By So Slowly" and the audience starts to wake up. Tokischa appears on stage and the audience sit down again - as Tokischa performs her 2023 version of Hung Up mashed up with the 2012 Hung Up MDNA Tour version, with Madonna still not on stage instead appearing only on the screens. The gays in the pits have returned now, refreshed, and sit down on the floor, checking Grindr and taking selfies to show what a great time they're having. As the horror of the MDNA Tour/Toksicha mashup of Hung Up ends to silence with the exception of the the same old front row stans who can be heard loudly screaming "QUEEEEEN", Madonna, having now been off stage for approaching 30 minutes, finally makes a return to the stage and berates the crowd, calling them 'diva bitches' for being sat down, advising if they don't like her show, they shouldn't come. The stage goes black and the lights go out and the segment ends at 1.50am with the second performance of the Messiah bedsheet & fan routine.