Sandra Bernhard says "We've buried the hatchet a long time ago"

[Donna 16,603]

Sandra Bernhard was recently interviewed on The Velvet Rope Podcast, and actually speaks fondly of her times with Madonna and says, the two "are fine".  She also says she would like to go to her Celebration Tour, but doesn't want any focus on her, so she probably won't go.  Hear what she also says about her opinion of Madonna's music.

 

[Blue Jean 15,316]

I was just watching this!

Its probably the nicest things I’ve ever heard her say about Madonna.

[TOpher 901]

This guy’s interviews are awful. The first one I watched was with Vince Patterson which was so good cause Vince is doing most of the talking and giving a lot of insight. But all the other interviews are so hard to watch

[OHDaddy 17]

Chris Ciccone explains why they dont see her anymore. Shes a negative person and it clearly shows in this interview. Im surprised her career has had this much longevity and but thats safe to say the Madonna connection was responsible for that. I think she sometimes feels weird about that. 

[Debord 426]

She's a smart woman, she knows exactly what she's doing by saying M's music was just fun dance music without any import, specifying the 80s and comparing it to Kylie.

[musicinferno 3,699]

2 hours ago, OHDaddy said:

Chris Ciccone explains why they dont see her anymore. Shes a negative person and it clearly shows in this interview. Im surprised her career has had this much longevity and but thats safe to say the Madonna connection was responsible for that. I think she sometimes feels weird about that. 

Yup I can easily see this. She seems very passive to make herself more likable. When she said "no I won't go to the show cause I don't want to draw the attention away from her" sounds very shady and made up. 

[DiegoLCL 5,111]

Bitch, literally nobody will focus on you on a Madonna show. 

It's so funny to think  that someone that's been using Madonna's name for over 30 years to get headlines would want to be that cautious. Yeah, right. 

[Cyberraga 663]

1 hour ago, DiegoLCL said:

Bitch, literally nobody will focus on you on a Madonna show

I think the same. Who's she anyway to move all eyes from Madonna to her?

[Voguerista 11,863]

I’m just glad she didn’t say anything negative. Sheww. 

[PHIL 261]

4 hours ago, Debord said:

She's a smart woman, she knows exactly what she's doing by saying M's music was just fun dance music without any import, specifying the 80s and comparing it to Kylie.

yes. very irritating! madonna is NOT just fun music, especially when sandra was around M ...

[dubbreak 68]

This may be an unpopular opinion here but it seems many of you just don't get it.  Sandra hasn't used Madonna's name over the years to get press -- the press has asked Sandra about Madonna over and over and over and over because, if you were around back in the late 80's, they caused quite a stir.  There was a huge fascination in their friendship. Longtime fans of both loved hearing Sandra talk about her in her shows -- because she spilled tea.  But either way, Sandra was already well on the rise before she & Madonna struck up their friendship.  Sandra starred in Martin Scorcese's King of Comedy with Robert DeNiro way before all that.  She was a regular -- and hilarious -- guest on David Letterman for YEARS.   Yes, her association with Madonna introduced her to a wider audience, but it now follows her around everywhere. 

I am 100% certain if she showed up at a Madonna show, there'd be a ton of buzz and people trying to take her picture etc. because tales of their falling out are so well known.  I don't think she means she'd take the attention off the star, I think she means she just wants to go enjoy the show as an audience member and not feel on display.  (The way someone like Rosanna Arquette or Sean Penn or Rosie O'Donnell is gonna get attention at an M show too.) Sandra may not be everyone's cup of tea, but she's not a nobody.  She is a brilliant comedienne who continues to tour, and hosts her own show on SiriusXM.   Younger people might view her as "too negative" but that was part of her brand.  A darker, hilarious, bitter, cynical point of view.  She was brash and loud, in your face, and dangerous.  And SO much fun for those with a wicked sense of humor.

For those of us there at the time, Madonna's times out and about with Sandra were some of the first times we got a taste of Madonna's own sense of humor, they went out to clubs and restaurants, walked red carpets, and 'caused a ruckus everywhere they went.  In gossip columns and followed by paparazzi.  This was long before Instagram and Tik Tok.  We almost NEVER got a peek into celebs' personal lives -- so when we heard about who Madonna was running around with, we ate it up.  There was something really powerful about seeing 2 strong women tearing it up and not giving a f*ck what anyone thinks of them.  

[Winn 2,201]

It's hard to believe anyone cares what Sandra Bernhard has to say in 2024 yet here we all are clicking the link. The power of Madonna.

[Donna 16,603]

11 minutes ago, dubbreak said:

This may be an unpopular opinion here but it seems many of you just don't get it.  Sandra hasn't used Madonna's name over the years to get press -- the press has asked Sandra about Madonna over and over and over and over because, if you were around back in the late 80's, they caused quite a stir.  There was a huge fascination in their friendship. Longtime fans of both loved hearing Sandra talk about her in her shows -- because she spilled tea.  But either way, Sandra was already well on the rise before she & Madonna struck up their friendship.  Sandra starred in Martin Scorcese's King of Comedy with Robert DeNiro way before all that.  She was a regular -- and hilarious -- guest on David Letterman for YEARS.   Yes, her association with Madonna introduced her to a wider audience, but it now follows her around everywhere. 

I am 100% certain if she showed up at a Madonna show, there'd be a ton of buzz and people trying to take her picture etc. because tales of their falling out are so well known.  I don't think she means she'd take the attention off the star, I think she means she just wants to go enjoy the show as an audience member and not feel on display.  (The way someone like Rosanna Arquette or Sean Penn or Rosie O'Donnell is gonna get attention at an M show too.) Sandra may not be everyone's cup of tea, but she's not a nobody.  She is a brilliant comedienne who continues to tour, and hosts her own show on SiriusXM.   Younger people might view her as "too negative" but that was part of her brand.  A darker, hilarious, bitter, cynical point of view.  She was brash and loud, in your face, and dangerous.  And SO much fun for those with a wicked sense of humor.

For those of us there at the time, Madonna's times out and about with Sandra were some of the first times we got a taste of Madonna's own sense of humor, they went out to clubs and restaurants, walked red carpets, and 'caused a ruckus everywhere they went.  In gossip columns and followed by paparazzi.  This was long before Instagram and Tik Tok.  We almost NEVER got a peek into celebs' personal lives -- so when we heard about who Madonna was running around with, we ate it up.  There was something really powerful about seeing 2 strong women tearing it up and not giving a f*ck what anyone thinks of them.  

I agree with much of what you say here.  I'm not that sort of fan who instantly finds hatred for anyone, especially those I don't know.  Like you pointed out, during the late 80's, the media would do stories on them all the time.  Both of them would go out and party together and have a blast.  It was like they were a Couple and the press was trying to insinuate something was going on between them and Madonna and Sandra played to it.  Unfortunately, they did have a falling out.  Both are head strong and don't give a fuck!  Of course, two head strong people like that were eventually to clash.  It was a two way street here, I'm sure of it.  Madonna probably was just as responsible for their falling out as Sandra.  Rumors always point to Madonna stealing a girlfriend from Sandra (which I believe was Ingrid).  There might be some truth to that, but then again I think Sandra explained it best. Madonna tends to move on with certain people after awhile. Whatever the reason, I can see why Sandra may have been bitter.  However, the thing is, Madonna has never publicly said a bad thing about Sandra, while we know Sandra has thrown some shade towards Madonna.  I think over time, Sandra realized it wasn't productive and finally moved on and accepted she isn't Gal Pals with Madonna. She's content that if the two ever run into each other, they would be civil and get along "fine". 

[Roland Barthes 5,854]

They made up at the Kaballah center in Los Angeles when Madonna first attended and Sandra was already a member.

Well, Sandra is two lines in a chapter of Madonna's life, Madonna is a whole chapter in Sandra's. I mean no one ever asked Madonna about Sandra in interviews since 1992. Sandra ? Constantly.

[Magic Pussy 197]

22 hours ago, McDonna said:

I agree with much of what you say here.  I'm not that sort of fan who instantly finds hatred for anyone, especially those I don't know.  Like you pointed out, during the late 80's, the media would do stories on them all the time.  Both of them would go out and party together and have a blast.  It was like they were a Couple and the press was trying to insinuate something was going on between them and Madonna and Sandra played to it.  Unfortunately, they did have a falling out.  Both are head strong and don't give a fuck!  Of course, two head strong people like that were eventually to clash.  It was a two way street here, I'm sure of it.  Madonna probably was just as responsible for their falling out as Sandra.  Rumors always point to Madonna stealing a girlfriend from Sandra (which I believe was Ingrid).  There might be some truth to that, but then again I think Sandra explained it best. Madonna tends to move on with certain people after awhile. Whatever the reason, I can see why Sandra may have been bitter.  However, the thing is, Madonna has never publicly said a bad thing about Sandra, while we know Sandra has thrown some shade towards Madonna.  I think over time, Sandra realized it wasn't productive and finally moved on and accepted she isn't Gal Pals with Madonna. She's content that if the two ever run into each other, they would be civil and get along "fine". 

Those prehistoric pre-internet paparazzi shots of Sandra, Madonna (and sometimes Jennifer Grey) running around NYC and LA in their matching Levi’s cutoffs and cowboy shoes from 1989-90 calling themselves “The Snatch Batch” was a great pop culture moment; I think the tabloid term “gal pal” might have been coined during that period. IMO Sandra and Madonna’s friendship flamed out as brightly as it started because they brought out the best and eventually the worst in each other. At their best,  Sandra made Madonna funnier & edgier and Madonna made Sandra sexier & more mainstream. At their worst, I suspect Sandra’s bitterness and Madonna’s selfishness broke them apart. I saw Sandra live back in 1989  and read her first two books, which I thought were very smart and devilishly funny. I sort of fell off the wagon when Sandra started singing more than telling stories.

 

Based on book excerpts and bits of interviews from back then and now from Sandra plus Ingrid’s tweets from a few years ago, it sounds like two versions of events could both be true. Version #1: Sandra and Madonna’s falling out was over Ingrid crawling over Sandra to get close to Madonna. None of the them ever confirmed if Madonna and Ingrid had a sexual relationship, aside from appearing for the SEX book, but considering what phase Madonna was going through, I think we can guess they got it on. Without naming names, Sandra confirmed that she and Madonna never had a sexual relationship in one of her books but it doesn’t mean Sandra didn’t have feelings. Whether or not Madonna and Ingrid were lovers, Sandra must’ve felt used and jealous for being dumped for her very famous friend you’re crushing on and neither one of them wants to sleep with you. Version #2:  Ingrid tweeted a few years ago refuting a statement Sandra made about Madonna’s friendships not lasting, Ingrid claiming her own long friendship with Madonna was proof otherwise and added Sandra was just butt hurt over not being asked to be in the SEX book. (If you can imagine Sandra in the SEX book, I can see how it would’ve been more funny than sexy.) In either scenario, Sandra probably felt used by Ingrid for getting close with Madonna and unsupported by Madonna for not seeing it the same way and Madonna just absorbing Ingrid’s adoration which continues to this day. I’ve seen Ingrid at the recent LA shows and in the past in Miami and she still looks p---y whipped to me; I can only imagine Sandra’s triple whammy of being dumped by a lover who takes her spot as her famous friend’s BFF, possibly as a lover AND gets included in the SEX book. Ouch. Coincidentally, in “Truth or Dare” Madonna joked about a woman Sandra was dating (not Ingrid) who would’ve “f-cked over by the time this (movie) comes out”.

Ultimately, I think when fans like myself reminisce on "the good old days" , it's time to reflect on our own lives and realize sh-t happens and people move on. BUT it was fun to watch back in te day.

[Donna 16,603]

2 minutes ago, Magic Pussy said:

Those prehistoric pre-internet paparazzi shots of Sandra, Madonna (and sometimes Jennifer Grey) running around NYC and LA in their matching Levi’s cutoffs and cowboy shoes from 1989-90 calling themselves “The Snatch Batch” was a great pop culture moment; I think the tabloid term “gal pal” might have been coined during that period. IMO Sandra and Madonna’s friendship flamed out as brightly as it started because they brought out the best and eventually the worst in each other. At their best,  Sandra made Madonna funnier & edgier and Madonna made Sandra sexier & more mainstream. At their worst, I suspect Sandra’s bitterness and Madonna’s selfishness broke them apart. I saw Sandra live back in 1989  and read her first two books, which I thought were very smart and devilishly funny. I sort of fell off the wagon when Sandra started singing more than telling stories.

 

Based on book excerpts and bits of interviews from back then and now from Sandra plus Ingrid’s tweets from a few years ago, it sounds like two versions of events could both be true. Version #1: Sandra and Madonna’s falling out was over Ingrid crawling over Sandra to get close to Madonna. None of the them ever confirmed if Madonna and Ingrid had a sexual relationship, aside from appearing for the SEX book, but considering what phase Madonna was going through, I think we can guess they got it on. Without naming names, Sandra confirmed that she and Madonna never had a sexual relationship in one of her books but it doesn’t mean Sandra didn’t have feelings. Whether or not Madonna and Ingrid were lovers, Sandra must’ve felt used and jealous for being dumped for her very famous friend you’re crushing on and neither one of them wants to sleep with you. Version #2:  Ingrid tweeted a few years ago refuting a statement Sandra made about Madonna’s friendships not lasting, Ingrid claiming her own long friendship with Madonna was proof otherwise and added Sandra was just butt hurt over not being asked to be in the SEX book. (If you can imagine Sandra in the SEX book, I can see how it would’ve been more funny than sexy.) In either scenario, Sandra probably felt used by Ingrid for getting close with Madonna and unsupported by Madonna for not seeing it the same way and Madonna just absorbing Ingrid’s adoration which continues to this day. I’ve seen Ingrid at the recent LA shows and in the past in Miami and she still looks p---y whipped to me; I can only imagine Sandra’s triple whammy of being dumped by a lover who takes her spot as her famous friend’s BFF, possibly as a lover AND gets included in the SEX book. Ouch. Coincidentally, in “Truth or Dare” Madonna joked about a woman Sandra was dating (not Ingrid) who would’ve “f-cked over by the time this (movie) comes out”.

Ultimately, I think when fans like myself reminisce on "the good old days" , it's time to reflect on our own lives and realize sh-t happens and people move on. BUT it was fun to watch back in te day.

Once again, you sound right on the money with everything you are posting.  I do recall Madonna and Sandra also being referred as "Gal Pal" and of course the media tried to insist there was more going on than just being friends.  Though, I think that purely was something they picked up on, when Madonna and Sandra would playfully act like something "more" was going on.  They started that pretty early on in 1988 when they both appeared on David Letterman together.  Though, Madonna was still married to Sean at the time and trying to work that out.

I always felt Ingrid probably had more feelings for Madonna than Madonna for her.  And yes, I recall that the real moment that Sandra got upset is when she wasn't included in the Sex book too.  

 

[cyberrage 407]

23 hours ago, dubbreak said:

This may be an unpopular opinion here but it seems many of you just don't get it.  Sandra hasn't used Madonna's name over the years to get press -- the press has asked Sandra about Madonna over and over and over and over because, if you were around back in the late 80's, they caused quite a stir.  There was a huge fascination in their friendship. Longtime fans of both loved hearing Sandra talk about her in her shows -- because she spilled tea.  But either way, Sandra was already well on the rise before she & Madonna struck up their friendship.  Sandra starred in Martin Scorcese's King of Comedy with Robert DeNiro way before all that.  She was a regular -- and hilarious -- guest on David Letterman for YEARS.   Yes, her association with Madonna introduced her to a wider audience, but it now follows her around everywhere. 

I am 100% certain if she showed up at a Madonna show, there'd be a ton of buzz and people trying to take her picture etc. because tales of their falling out are so well known.  I don't think she means she'd take the attention off the star, I think she means she just wants to go enjoy the show as an audience member and not feel on display.  (The way someone like Rosanna Arquette or Sean Penn or Rosie O'Donnell is gonna get attention at an M show too.) Sandra may not be everyone's cup of tea, but she's not a nobody.  She is a brilliant comedienne who continues to tour, and hosts her own show on SiriusXM.   Younger people might view her as "too negative" but that was part of her brand.  A darker, hilarious, bitter, cynical point of view.  She was brash and loud, in your face, and dangerous.  And SO much fun for those with a wicked sense of humor.

For those of us there at the time, Madonna's times out and about with Sandra were some of the first times we got a taste of Madonna's own sense of humor, they went out to clubs and restaurants, walked red carpets, and 'caused a ruckus everywhere they went.  In gossip columns and followed by paparazzi.  This was long before Instagram and Tik Tok.  We almost NEVER got a peek into celebs' personal lives -- so when we heard about who Madonna was running around with, we ate it up.  There was something really powerful about seeing 2 strong women tearing it up and not giving a f*ck what anyone thinks of them.  

Well said. In so many areas its important to know your history or listen to those who do

[Blue Skies 1,307]

I have the feeling perhaps only old school Madonna fans really know Sandra well?

 

Even me approaching middle age the only other thing I associate her with besides her Madonna "friendship" is playing a crazy stalker of Jerry Lewis in The King of Comedy.   

[Magic Pussy 197]

19 minutes ago, Blue Skies said:

I have the feeling perhaps only old school Madonna fans really know Sandra well?

 

Even me approaching middle age the only other thing I associate her with besides her Madonna "friendship" is playing a crazy stalker of Jerry Lewis in The King of Comedy.   

Yes! Some other slightly younger fans know her from “Roseanne” reruns. 

[Magic Pussy 197]

2 hours ago, cyberrage said:

Well said. In so many areas its important to know your history or listen to those who do

It’s no coincidence during Madonna‘s performance of “keep it together” during blonde ambition she says without your family and friends “You are nothing” Which is essentially the name of Sandra‘s one woman show turned into a film  “Without You Im Nothing”

[Donna 16,603]

2 hours ago, Blue Skies said:

I have the feeling perhaps only old school Madonna fans really know Sandra well?

 

Even me approaching middle age the only other thing I associate her with besides her Madonna "friendship" is playing a crazy stalker of Jerry Lewis in The King of Comedy.   

LOL!  I loved that movie The King of Comedy.  But I also associate her with the TV show Roseanne.  She starred in that show for many years and became one of the first characters to come out Bi then Lesbian on Prime TIme television. 

I do recall she release a music album. It wasn't half bad!!!

[cyberrage 407]

4 hours ago, Magic Pussy said:

It’s no coincidence during Madonna‘s performance of “keep it together” during blonde ambition she says without your family and friends “You are nothing” Which is essentially the name of Sandra‘s one woman show turned into a film  “Without You Im Nothing”

I did love her cover of Prince in that, it was a funny subversive show. They were good for each other at that time but her chasing popular fame after that fell flat, she had to curb the honest comedy an commentary and was never the same. The Rosanne stink was well, obvious 

[Blue Jean 15,316]

On 4/5/2024 at 9:29 AM, cyberrage said:

Well said. In so many areas its important to know your history or listen to those who do

Most Madonna fans know the history. It is just that about once every two years Sandra pops up talking about Madonna, and it’s usually saying something negative.

https://x.com/ingridcasares/status/1474128590258286597?s=46

The way she dismisses Madonna’s music as just “fun dance music like Kylie Minogue” too is passive aggressive. Being friends with Madonna around the LAP era she knows very well that is an insult to Madonna.

If an old friend you hadn’t seen in years almost died would you wait to send them your well wishes? I wouldn’t. Especially not in these times where we all have ways of reaching out to people from the past, even celebrities.

The real reason she isn’t going to the tour is because she doesn’t think very highly of Madonna and has no interest in what she’s doing.

[Robertthenurse 2,930]

One of my fav shows was seeing Sandra live 1993. I don’t feel she speaks Ms name at all. I feel like people that interview her bring it up and use as a reference to Sandra. 

[Alibaba 1,523]

It’s incredibly unfair to rob Sandra of her own accomplishments. As already stated, she has had a very storied life and she is a talented comedienne and actress. She carved out a very unique style for herself as a performer. Her shows are autobiographical and comical with feisty social commentary, but always served with a touch of emotional tenderness underlined with music. I think she has been mostly gracious considering how much everyone always brings up Madonna when interviewing her. For many years I think she resented it and it may have led to some occasional overt hostility, but imagine being tethered to someone who hurt you (is it really that hard to imagine that Madonna lacked sensitivity in the early 90s?) for the rest of your career despite all of your other achievements! I think that would get under anyone’s skin, and she handled this ning nong’s prying with aplomb in my eyes. Madonna’s star shines so bright that it burns most people who have been in her orbit. It’s like a brand; permanent and unavoidable. I have empathy for how challenging that might be for some.